Yeah, Toast!

Sometimes I volunteer to do things when I am in a compromised state of sobriety that I would ordinarily not offer myself up for. And sometimes in those situations I end up writing a toast for a dear friend's wedding. This is one of those situations.

Two of my very best friends are getting married to each other at the end of the year. We have all been friends for a long time and we all knew that this day would come because these two people are perfect for each other. Seriously. So of course I've been super excited and looking forward to the wedding because this will be the first wedding I will attend where I personally know the bride and groom and where there will be an open bar.

The last time I saw these friends we had a bit of a party on my patio and apparently I announced before God and all creation, "I am writing a toast for your wedding! Deal with it."

Here's the thing.

I have never written a toast before. I have never even given a toast before. And I have never been around so many Catholics before!

Actually I did come up with a toast once, a silly little thing. It goes like this:

"We are all on a ship. And that ship...is a friendship."

Salute!


Not quite a wedding toast.

I know I'll drum up something good ( I better be able to, if I want to consider myself a writer) so I'm not too worried about content. I'm more concerned about the technical things. How long should a toast be? Where should I pause for dramatic effect? Do I really have to tap my knife against my glass to get everyone's attention? Should I lead everyone in an impromptu singing of "Amazing Grace"?

If anyone has any advice or recommendations on how to write an exceptional toast, do please let me know!

Thanks for reading! =)

Muse

"If only I'd had an enemy greater than my apathy I would have won." - Mumford and Sons

It's no secret that the biggest roadblock standing in the way of my Path to Publication is myself. My own personal fears and doubts are like a 50 foot brick wall with razor wire at the top, covered in insulting graffiti. It's tough. And all these fears and doubts create a stunning lack of motivation.

So what do I do?

The only thing I can do is search for inspiration. Inspiration is the antidote for apathy.

I think everyone - not only writers - gets done in by boredom and jadedness in their job or life, and needs a little pick-me-up to get going again. That's why corporations cover their walls in stupid posters of people helping each other up a cliff. Motivational posters are great for rolling your eyes at, but I find it's quite beneficial to know what kinds of things inspire you and to surround yourself with them.

Here's what inspires me:

Music - specifically finding new music I become obsessed with
Great horror movies
Mood lighting
Solitary walks at night
Old wooden ships
Skulls
Tribal masks
Books
Antiques
Guitars
Stormy weather
Animals
Success stories

If I could wrap myself and my laptop in a cocoon of all those things I would feel unstoppable - like that second train movie Denzel did. I try to keep these kinds of things in my life to keep me going. It's amazing how quickly after seeing Fright Night and discovering a new band called I Am Dynamite the ideas came bubbling up into consciousness from who-knows-where. I feel elated. I feel like a badass.

So, what inspires you?

Back In the Saddle Again

I'm back!

It's been a busy few weeks, my dear reader. Between going to L.A. and having guests and dog sitting and concert going and taking an hour and half to get to a Home Goods that's only 15 minutes away, I haven't had time to post. But I'm back in the saddle.

My trip to Los Angeles was perfection. I had great time seeing my old London buddies and even greater time seeing famous people. They really are everywhere in Hollywood.

Right after my plane touched down at Bob Hope airport we went to a taping of Chelsea Lately where Lisa Kudrow was the guest. She still looks just like Phoebe. On another day we ate dinner at the fancy restaurant at Chateau Marmont - the hotel where Lady Gaga stays. "If it's good enough for Gaga, it's good enough for us!" I said. After accidently valet parking ourselves we did our very best to not come off as poor kids and keep our eyes from bulging out at the menu prices. And then we saw her. Eating at a table for two halfway across the restaurant was Olivia Wilde. (Thirteen from House and the girl from Tron and Cowboys and Aliens)

Let me just say that she is really, really, really, really beautiful in person. And skinny as a rail. And she smokes and talks with her hands and her laugh sounds like music.

Since we were all dolled up, my friends and I decided to go back to the apartment and get some pictures taken together. My host's friend Patrick had met us for dinner and was coming back to the apartment with us to hang out. On our way back, my host rolled down her window and motioned for Patrick to do the same.

"Hey! Do you mind taking pictures of us when we get back?"

"What, like naked?"

"No!......Maybe later."

(*No naked pictures were taken. Don't worry, family members.)

Later that week we went to a taping of The Soup and got pictures taken with Joel McHale, and we saw Ugly Betty at a coffee shop and on the last day we saw Jane Lynch in Barnes and Noble's. She said hi to us. Because we're cool like that.

Anywho, in the world of writing I'm still revising my novel and I'm also working on a short story for a writing contest. I've let myself be intimidated by the Query Letter for too long and it's time to knock it out. My deadline is to have sent queries to at least 5 literary agents by the end of October. It's time to nut up or shut up.

Thanks for reading! =)