What's this all about

Chronicling my steps to becoming a published novelist, and the randomness of my life.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Yeah, Toast!

Sometimes I volunteer to do things when I am in a compromised state of sobriety that I would ordinarily not offer myself up for. And sometimes in those situations I end up writing a toast for a dear friend's wedding. This is one of those situations.

Two of my very best friends are getting married to each other at the end of the year. We have all been friends for a long time and we all knew that this day would come because these two people are perfect for each other. Seriously. So of course I've been super excited and looking forward to the wedding because this will be the first wedding I will attend where I personally know the bride and groom and where there will be an open bar.

The last time I saw these friends we had a bit of a party on my patio and apparently I announced before God and all creation, "I am writing a toast for your wedding! Deal with it."

Here's the thing.

I have never written a toast before. I have never even given a toast before. And I have never been around so many Catholics before!

Actually I did come up with a toast once, a silly little thing. It goes like this:

"We are all on a ship. And that ship...is a friendship."


Not quite a wedding toast.

I know I'll drum up something good ( I better be able to, if I want to consider myself a writer) so I'm not too worried about content. I'm more concerned about the technical things. How long should a toast be? Where should I pause for dramatic effect? Do I really have to tap my knife against my glass to get everyone's attention? Should I lead everyone in an impromptu singing of "Amazing Grace"?

If anyone has any advice or recommendations on how to write an exceptional toast, do please let me know!

Thanks for reading! =)

Sunday, August 28, 2011


"If only I'd had an enemy greater than my apathy I would have won." - Mumford and Sons

It's no secret that the biggest roadblock standing in the way of my Path to Publication is myself. My own personal fears and doubts are like a 50 foot brick wall with razor wire at the top, covered in insulting graffiti. It's tough. And all these fears and doubts create a stunning lack of motivation.

So what do I do?

The only thing I can do is search for inspiration. Inspiration is the antidote for apathy.

I think everyone - not only writers - gets done in by boredom and jadedness in their job or life, and needs a little pick-me-up to get going again. That's why corporations cover their walls in stupid posters of people helping each other up a cliff. Motivational posters are great for rolling your eyes at, but I find it's quite beneficial to know what kinds of things inspire you and to surround yourself with them.

Here's what inspires me:

Music - specifically finding new music I become obsessed with
Great horror movies
Mood lighting
Solitary walks at night
Old wooden ships
Tribal masks
Stormy weather
Success stories

If I could wrap myself and my laptop in a cocoon of all those things I would feel unstoppable - like that second train movie Denzel did. I try to keep these kinds of things in my life to keep me going. It's amazing how quickly after seeing Fright Night and discovering a new band called I Am Dynamite the ideas came bubbling up into consciousness from who-knows-where. I feel elated. I feel like a badass.

So, what inspires you?